I'd Rather Be a Victim

So I heard this story once told by a pastor of how his house was broken into and everything was stolen. I expected him to say something along the lines of “God must convict this man and bring him to justice”, but instead, He said that all he did was thank God that he was the man who was stolen and not the man who stole. This story has taken me on a very long journey in discovering what it could have been about this story that affected me so much. Now, I can safely say with no exception that I would always rather be the victim of a crime then the person who committed it. When I am stolen from or am hurt by someone, the damage and pain that they cause is limited to the time it takes me to forgive them. When you are the victim, moving past the incident is completely in your control and it takes nothing more than a choice to rid yourself of any unforgiveness and move on. However for the person who hurt you or stole from you, it is not that simple. For you see, the simple saying goes that “hurting people hurt people”.

This means that there is a reason why the person did what they did. If they stole from you, then they have a self seeking character which not only led them to steal from you, but will lead them to steal from many others in the future. This means that this bad character trait of theirs will stay with them throughout their lives, hurting many of the people who are close to them leaving them bitter and isolated, unless they deal with this trait and overcome it. This means that being a person who lies, cheats and steals is far worse than being lied to, cheated or stolen from. But as a victim, I have a responsibility. That responsibility is to realise that this person is hurt and will ultimately destroy their own lives unless they deal with this problem. This realisation helps us as victims to forgive them, to wish them well and to hope that God convicts them so that they can one day walk in freedom and victory. Remember that if someone has a character trait that results them treating people badly such as dishonesty or infidelity and you are hurt as a result of this trait, that if you simply forgive them and walk away you gain a lesson learnt. That person has not gained anything in what they have done, because having a detestable character is in itself enough punishment for the grievances that character causes- and is the root of many other problems and hurts that person may encounter or may have encounter in the past.

Thus to respond correctly to any type of hurt will be to respond in love and understanding- understanding that there is a very real cause for this person’s character flaw- and understanding that this flaw may cause and may already be causing great levels of unhappiness in the person’s life- even if they themselves do not recognise it. Forgiveness is extremely important to release us from the hurt people have caused in us. The longer time I take to forgive, the more hatred and resentment grow within me. As a victim, when you forgive someone for hurting you in any way, you are immediately “sealing” the hurt they caused you so that it cannot do any further damage. If you do not forgive, you are allowing the flaw in that person’s character that lead to them hurting you to break down your character too. It will grow bitterness, hate and resentment inside you and lead you not only to live a less happy life but to have a weaker character.

The only point when we can say we have truly forgiven someone for something is when we can genuinely wish them the best for their lives and not hope that somehow something will happen to them that will get you some type of retribution.